Saying No to a Swedish Slut

You want me to go with you, but I just can’t anymore—
The laws in Sweden prosecute the john, but not the whore.
A tart can go about her business—unimpeded, free;
If I so much as talk to one, a cop will collar me.
So you may strut your assets along busy Stockholm streets
But no man is allowed to purchase any of your treats.
I wonder how you’ll pay the rent, or even buy a meal—
A fifty-kronor handjob, or a simple little feel
Might land me in the courtroom where I’ll face the livid rage
Of some damned E.U. jurist quoting statutes from the page.
Who would think up such a law—so imbecile, so daft—
Where selling is permitted, but the buyers get the shaft?
Only Swedish feminists could make this legal botch:
Those broads with brains not in their head, but someplace in their crotch.




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Derek Burgoyne is a Canadian expatriate poet and inventor who lives and teaches in Uppsala, Sweden. He is currently working on a book about Nikola Tesla.