It is better to marry than to burn. — 1 Corinthians 7:9
It’s very fortunate that Holy Scripture
Is helpful as a means to circumscribe
Behavior. Otherwise, for lack of stricture,
A lost unanchored soul must tack and jibe.
The weight of many an unfondled breast
Lies heavy on a hyperactive mind,
But cravings of a deeper, darker kind
Have been—thank God!—summarily repressed.
Until a pastor speaks the formal blessing,
A man whose soul’s been saved withholds his semen
From she whom he’s been mentally undressing,
Despite the urging of his carnal demon.
Once vows have been exchanged, the minister,
Believing that his righteous work is done,
Presumes legitimate connubial fun
Will not turn into something sinister.
Pursued with proper zeal, the missionary
Position verges on the glorious,
Though any bride still clinging to her cherry
Might find rear-entry less injurious.